Posted by Philliebot
If you're a female phan chances are you've been pining over Chase Utley for the better part of seven years now. You've been making vodoo dolls of Jen Utley, hoping that Chase would realize you two were meant to be together. You were probably devestated to here the she woman is with child. Well never fear, female phans, the forces that be have taken care of your deep, dark, unspoken desires.
Here he is…the Chase Utley Puppet!!
Picture courtsey of Bleacher Creatures-ya know so no one gets mad or anything
For the low, low price of $23.99 you can slide your hand up inside of Utley anytime you want. Considering the dirty girls I know that are Phils phans, this should read ALL the times you want. I'm sure this thing will be a hot seller down at CBP this Summer. Just remember it's a family ballpark. It's bad enough I have to deal with the gernades wearing too small Burrell sherseies, I don't want to hear them talking about fisting Utley's butt.
If you're not into Utley, never fear, Bleacher Creatures have you covered. There is a Roy Halladay hand puppet, so you can fist the best starter in all of baseball, or a Ryan Howard hand puppet if you like sexual DARK chocolate. If you're into the more kinky stuff, as I know some of my Twitter followers are, Bleacher Creatures have a Phanatic handpuppet too. I'm pretty sure, however, that messing around with the Phanatic is illegal in 48 states .
Check out the Bleacher Creatures site today to buy yours. Make sure it's in the bedside table with all your other toys.